Skillz of a PCV

With the group of education volunteers before me getting ready to leave in November, I have been thinking a lot about what exactly have I learned in Peace Corps? My roommate has been filling out an application to teach in Korea, and we have been laughing at our skill set since living in Mozambique. I must say, I am never going to be able to have a normal interview again.
Interviewer "Well Mr. Davis, what can you bring to our Company?"
Nick "To be honest, I can poop in a hole and make xima."
For some reason, I do not see that helping me get a job. Although some of my skills as a Peace Corps Volunteer do not translate well into the working world of the United States, I must say... I am proud of my new way of life.

Skills that Kills
1) I can poop in a hole (who hasnt ever wished that?)
2) I am fluent in Portuguese
3) I can carry a trashcan size bucket of water on my head
4) I am phenomenal at ignoring people calling me Mulungu,Muzungu, or Makunha
5) I can live for 7 months off of beans, rice, and veggies
6) I can cook a delicious dish using every single part of the pumpkin plant
7) I can tolerate gross instant coffee
8) I can tolerate the largest of cultural differences in mass quantities
9) I can eat fried bugs, boiled giant snail, monkey, gazelle, and who knows what other types of food...
10) I can sleep without a mattress for months at a time
11) I can get completely clean using only a bucket of cold water and soap
12) I can wash any article of clothing with my hands
13) I can shave my face without a mirror
14) I can patiently wait for people to show up 20-30 minutes late... consistently
15) I can walk 8km from a farm with a sack of corn on my head and enjoy all the people staring at me and speaking in their local dialects as I do so.
16) I can teach chemistry, physics, biology, and art classes to high school students... in Portuguese
17) I can get an entire market crowded with people to look at me just by saying a phrase or 2 in their local language.
18) I kill, clean, and cook a chicken, duck, and goat. (Dont do this often)
19) I can travel a 3rd world country in ways that I never thought I would ever have to (packed beds of trucks with 25+ people, hitchhiking, and bicycle)
20) I can weigh 300 babies in a single day
21) I can surprise people by saying that I am not Brazilian, Chinese, or Portuguese.
22) I can read book, after book, after book without getting bored
23) I can live 8 months on only 12 cents per day...
24) I can integrate into different cultures without feeling stressed or feeling overwhelmed
25) I can say that I helped a witch doctor cut off a chicken's head that was used for a ritual...
26) I can make entire meals from food that I had grown in my own backyard
27) I can make children cry just by being a white person
28) I understand what homesickness actually is
29) I know what true corruption can look like and function
30) I know what its liked to be asked for sex multiple times per day on a fairly regular basis
31) I can kill black mambas with shovels and hoes.

I have given you a list of 31 things that I can and am able to do because of the Peace Corps. I am hoping that they can translate, somehow, into my life... but for some reason, I think a few will be "talents" that are only there for the story

If You Can't Beat em, Change the Rules so they Lose

Students taking the Math final

The last week of the 2^nd trimester. It’s been a busy week, but overall a good one. Let me tell you, proctoring exams here in Mozambique has become a game of catch the cheaters for me. I will explain. My daily routine this week is wake up at 6:00, have some coffee, take a bath, listen to some of the lion king soundtrack, and then make the 3 minute walk to school. I greet my colleagues, grab the tests for my assigned class, and enter the classroom. Students greet me with the usual “Bom dia senhor professor, como esta hoje?” We continue, and I explain that if I catch them cheating, then I will tear up their test and cheating material, allow them to get a new piece of paper, and begin again. The reason I do not kick them out or give them zeroes is because of this countries culture on cheating. If I gave every student that cheated a zero, then only 10% would actually get to take the exam. The other 90% would just shake off their zero, laugh, and know that they will probably pass anyways. This is because the school system is under an extreme pressure from the district. This pressure is to show successful test scores. The only problem is that the curriculum assigned by this country is way above the kids’ heads, and often times the tests are poorly written. The kids, first of all, are given an improbable task. Second off, the schools do not fail children like they should. If they fail the correct number of students, then the district will get upset and say the school is not doing it’s rightful job. In reality, children are being passed through school without having to actually learn anything. I have hundreds of students in 8^th grade who are illiterate. How did these kids pass their tests and work in Primary School if they do not know how to read and write in Portuguese? Here lies the problem. From the top, the district is forcing the schools to lie, cheat, and forge. The students see this, and assume that this is the way that things are done in life. They begin to avoid actually doing better work, and formulating ways to cheat and “just getting by”. It is an extremely sad situation, and it kills my heart to see these kids thrown in this position. I have been using this week to create an environment where the students literally cannot cheat. I tear up cheaters’ tests, cheating material, and give them a chance to retake the test with the remaining time. Afterwards I give them a brief lecture on the importance of preparing for life situations. They can easily prevent their bad grades if they would open their notebooks, and put forth the effort of memorizing and studying. Many students resent me as I tear up their tests and cheating materials, but I can tell that some agree with me… They just have not been taught how to go about an honest and hard-working manner to learn. I want the students to know that I am not angry at them for cheating. They think that they are stuck in a culture of cheating. They are too caught in their culture to realize that an individual can live outside of the norm. I want them to realize they can succeed. I want them to realize that I am doing this to give them a chance. A chance that other students in this country are not getting. A chance to learn the importance of pushing yourself through good ole work ethic. They are amazed to hear that I have learned Portuguese in under a year, that I have 2 college degrees, and that I read in my spare time for fun. They are confused and baffled by me, but I have a feeling that some respect it and will hopefully strive to improve their scholarly ways. I want them to break from the chains of this impossibly run school system, and I want them to make an impression on their country. There are many bright, and intelligent young students in this country, they just need to find a way to use their intelligence for the benefit of themselves, their families, and this country that is trying to find it’s way out of poverty and monetary corruption.